Make your own ridiculous art

I am no artist, but I love all things original. You will never find an art poster in my house or Crystal's for that matter. So here is a guide to making your own fresh pieces with a little help from one of my best friends, Mod Podge.



Things you will need:
Old frame
Paint
Any piece of "art"
Mod Podge
An old credit card or any plastic card laying around
Scissors
Wet rag

Take an old frame, remove the glass, and paint the backing board.



While drying, pick out the art piece. I have been dying to do an Olivia Soprano piece for months, but you can use a newspaper/magazine clip, your kid's art, or vintage paperwork....like this old report card from the 60s:



For this project, I took craft paper and printed out my favorite lady and quote. Line it up to get a good feel.



Squeeze out the Mod Podge on the backing board and front of the picture.





Rub the Mod Podge over the picture and scrape out the air bubbles and excess glue with your card.





Take your rag and wipe up the glue around the edges of the picture.



Bask in the glory of your finished piece. Go on, brag about it.



Additional Mod Podge work:

This is a piece using a magazine cut out-



And Crystal's marvelous collage work-

How to get rid of roaches...naturally of course

I think I should just rename this blog, "Vinegar and Baking Soda."



Spring came and went in Texas, but the roaches stayed to play house. I loathe them with all of my heart. Not only are they ugly, they carry all kinds of nasty diseases. It doesn't matter how clean you keep your house, once they have invaded, it's all over. My sweet mother-in-law suggested that I use boric acid, but after doing research, it's not exactly as non-toxic as it claims to be. I have a sweet dog and cat and didn't like the idea of them getting into it. So as usual I turned to baking soda and Borax. Just sprinkle either one (or both) near the problem areas. I tested both separately and found that adding a little bit of sugar to the baking soda helped.

5¢ Produce Wash

I can't always buy organic produce, it's not necessarily a cost issue, it's supply. I make pickles at least once a month and have never been able to find organic pickling cucumbers. I'm ok with that, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to wash the insects, chemicals and bacteria off first. Not only are conventionally grown products covered in herbicides and pesticides, think about all of the hands that have been molesting them throughout their life (organic is no exception to handling). From the field, to the warehouse, to the grocery store...that's a lot of hands! According to WebMD, 2 out of 3 Americans don't wash their hands. Ewww. Bacteria (Listeria, Salmonella and E. Coli) may be lurking on your fruits and vegetables, whether they are organically grown or conventionally grown. So let's talk about the cheapest wash available.

What you need:
Large pot or bowl
3 TBS Baking Soda

Fill your pot 3/4 full of water and mix in the baking soda. Add produce and make sure it's completely covered. Let stand for 10 minutes.



You can also give produce an extra scrub (especially if it's conventional).



*Some people use vinegar for a veggie wash, but I don't like the idea of that seeping into porous produce.

*Don't soak mushrooms! They will soak in all that water and loose flavor, just give them a good rinse and scrub.

How to Save Your Ovaries...Naturally

90 million women across the world suffer from endometriosis. On average, it happens to women in their late 20's/early 30's; typically when you have not bared children. Apparently we should have kids before we are ready...thanks universe.

I was diagnosed about 3 years ago, and was given three treatment options: get pregnant, get on birth control, or have surgery. I worked in an OR at the time, so it was only natural that I went with option 3. Afterwards, I was put on birth control (b/c it was the only medical solution).

So time passed, I went about my business, and eventually got really sick of it. I still had symptoms and hated the pill. I went online and started researching. It didn't take long to come across information on two homeopathic drugs: Vitex and Dong Quai. So naturally, I gave it a whirl.

That was over a year ago and I have never felt better. I quit birth control, got on all natural drugs, and have had ZERO side effects.

If you have any issues with your ovaries, this is worth a shot.

Benefits of Vitex:

It helps to balance the ovarian hormones by increasing the level of progesterone
Helps balance the menstrual cycle
Modulates high levels of prolactin, which can aggravate PMS symptoms
Aleviates some common symptoms of menopause(including hot flashes & depression)

Benefits of Dong Quai:

Contains ferulic acid, a pain reliever and muscle relaxer
Used for effectively treating PMS, arthritis, and lowering blood pressure

There are also health concerns for Dong Quai, so please do your own homework.

Keep in mind, you have to take the drugs EVERY DAY. Natural drugs also take a few weeks to take effect in your body.

The total cost? About $12 a month. You can find both of these pills at Whole Foods and Central Market

Now let me just state my disclosure: I am not a doctor, I am only telling you what worked for me. And what worked for me is truly magical.

I am in love with alternative medicine. This is my all time favorite website for natural cures. http://www.earthclinic.com/

Progress

The only thing I really want to say in this blog post is....yeah!!!

Simple Roasted Green Salsa

After deciding that today was the day to make salsa, I spent all afternoon quoting Jerry Seinfeld's salsa/seltzer episode. Oh I'm sorry, you DON'T know what I'm talking about? Well that's too bad for you.

Ingredients:
4 tomatoes
3 whole garlic cloves
4 TBS olive oil
2 jalapenos
1 yellow onion
1 bunch of green onions (scallions if you feel fancy)
1 bunch of cilantro
2 limes

Preheat the oven to 500 degrees

Half and deseed jalapenos (if you like super hot salsa, no need to deseed)



Rough chop the onion and tomatoes



Toss the onions, garlic, tomatoes, and jalapenos in the olive oil. Place the veggies in a roasting pan or on a baking sheet. Season with salt.



Roast for about 25-30 minutes


Give the green onions and cilantro a rough chop and combine all ingredients in a blender. Season with salt and lime juice.



Now, dip with chips and put in your mouth.

Mixed Berry Streusel Cobbler

I have made this pie about 5 or 6 times and it is always a crowd pleaser. This recipe should be made a day ahead. Pies, soups, salsas, and most sauces need time to get all of the flavors in full unity. Pies also need time to rest and firm up for easy cutting. So plan ahead!

Crust
2 1/4 cups all purpose flour
1 tablespoon sugar
1/2 teaspoon salt
7 tablespoons chilled unsalted butter, cut into 1/2-inch cubes
1/3 cup chilled solid vegetable shortening, cut into 1/2-inch cubes
6 tablespoons ice water

Topping
6 tablespoons (packed) golden brown sugar
1/4 cup whole almonds
6 tablespoons (3/4 stick) chilled unsalted butter, cut into 1/2-inch cubes
4 1/2 tablespoons old-fashioned oats
4 1/2 tablespoons all purpose flour

Filling
1 cup sugar
1/4 cup large pearl tapioca*
2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice
5 cups assorted fresh berries
1 TBS cinnamon

*Let's talk about tapioca for a second. I grew up with 6 brothers and sisters who LOVED tapioca. I hated it, and always got upset b/c everyone got a treat but me. But mixing it in pies creates an insanely rich and creamy consistancy. So needless to say, tapioca and I are mending our relationship.

For crust:
If you want to be a hardcore baker, use your hands! Something really bothers me about food processor crust making. It just seems lazy and I prefer to put my blood, sweat, and tears into my cooking. On the other hand, I'm trying to be a better person, so if that is your method, go for it.

In a large bowl, add flour, sugar, and salt. Slowly add in the butter and shortening and break up into the flour. Don't over do it, you want the flaky crust, and overworking your dough can prevent that. Once the mix resembles a course cornmeal appearance, add 5 tablespoons ice water, adding more water by teaspoonfuls if mixture is dry. Gather dough into ball and flatten into disk. Wrap in plastic and chill at least 1 hour. 2 hours is preferred.







For filling:
Mix sugar, tapioca, lemon juice, and cinnamon in large bowl. Add berries and toss gently to combine. Let stand until tapioca softens slightly, stirring occasionally, about 45 minutes.



For topping:
Combine all ingredients in a food processor. Process until moist clumps form. Set aside.



Preheat oven to 400°F.

After resting in the refrigerator, let dough sit at room temp for about 10 minutes.
Roll out dough on lightly floured surface to 15-inch round. Transfer to 9-inch-diameter glass pie dish. You can make some fancy "crimp" work with the dough, but I prefer to use all of it and skip the overhang. Freeze crust 20 minutes.

Spoon filling into crust.



Crumble topping evenly over filling.





Wrap pie in foil and bake for 30 minutes. Remove foil and continue baking another 20-30 minutes, until crust and topping are golden brown and filling is bubbling, Transfer pie to rack and cool at least 3 hours (it you MUST make the same day).

Sorry I did not take a picture of the pie right out of the oven. The truth is my husband and I stayed up late and dove into it around 3am. These things happen.